Last night around 4:55 in the afternoon, our Mom decided it was time to go meet up with our Dad, the love of her life. We are all filled with great sadness and sorrow but know that she is now at peace and in no pain. It’s almost surreal as to how fast life changes as within a matter of minutes, your World is turned upside down.
No matter who you are, if you were lucky enough to have our Mom come into your life, even if only for a brief moment, you were better off. Like a magical princess, if you met her or knew her, you were somehow touched or blessed with a pure goodness rarely found. As a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a friend or a casual acquaintance, she spread joy and happiness to all. She will be greatly missed but live on forever in the many memories that we all have from the years of love and joy we spent with her.
The day started out to be a bit better as when we arrived, Mom was speaking with more clarity and sitting up a bit better. I had to run a quick errand across town and Lori stayed with her by her side. Tom took Robin to the airport about noon and Lori and I waited for the the RN from the hospital to arrive around 1. At 1, Tom and Ali arrived and the RN took Mom’s vitals which were strong. After that, Tom and Ali went home for a much needed rest while we stayed with her. On and off during the afternoon, Mom would have leg cramps so we’d rub her muscles to give her some relief. At one moment Lori went to the bathroom and came back in and Mom said, “where’d you go?” She also asked me how the roads were coming down from Vail, so she was coherent but you could tell in pain. After spending the afternoon with her, Lori and I decided to run out to pick up dinner for all of us. 40 minutes after we left, I received a call from James telling us she had passed. It’s almost like she was waiting for us to leave so she too could leave. Before I left I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me too. During the afternoon she said how much she loved us all and was talking all day long about the boys on and off. At one point, the phone rang and it was Deb Rubin from Washington D.C. and Mom said she’d talk for a bit. I handed her the phone and she said, “hi Ty” as she must have thought I said it was Ty on the phone. We rushed home and Mom’s body was resting peacefully but she was already in heaven with Dad. I felt an eerie calmness rush over me when I walked in like she was telling me, “it’s ok”. I knew at that point that she was at peace so I kissed her on the forehead and then had to get it together to deal with the authorities who had shown up. As I was talking with the police and fire department, Lori made sure Mom was dressed in nice silk jammies. Two hours later, as if in the blink of an eye, it was over with Lori and I standing all alone in the dead silent house we had all spent so much of our life in.
Lori was an angel comforting Mom from the time she came home 2 days ago, rarely leaving her side. You could tell it gave Mom comfort as she’d periodically look up or open her eyes and ask for Lori in her muffled voice. I spent most of the day lying on the bed next to her holding her hand. Thank God for Lori being there for our Mom and me. Thanks to Dixie for suggesting Lori postpone her trip to California to stay home this weekend. I don’t know what I would have done if Lori wasn’t there.
We made it home around 9 pm and even though we didn’t tell the boys until we arrived, Jagger in his wisdom beyond his years, knew. They both took it as well as they could but of course were upset. It’s funny as I was 15 when my grandmother died in 1971 and Lori said she too was 15 when her grandmother passed which is the same age as Jag is now. We woke up around 4:30 this morning as Ty who was sleeping downstairs with Jagger had a bad dream. He called me on his phone from the basement (it’s technological World, ha) and asked me to come get him. He of course is sleeping soundly now in our bed while Lori and I are awake, ha.
We couldn’t go back to sleep as our heads are swirling with all the thoughts of things that we’ll need to get done. I’m not going to go into that here as it’s just too overwhelming.
When we were finished at Mom’s, we stopped at Tom and Ali’s before driving up the hill. I talked with a few people by phone and texted back and forth with Robi. Tom was a saint for years as he literally made my Mom dinner just about every day. Living so close he also was at the hospital daily which had to wear him down. I pray that he and Robin take comfort in the fact the Mom’s in a better place. I know this takes time. I’m so thankful that over the past 2 years I spent more and more time with her. In fact, I saw her way more than I ever did when we lived across the street. We had many laughs together and some deep conversations about life. Of course I remember each one vividly and will cherish the time we spent together forever.
The most important thing to my Mom was that all of us kids get along. She had this fear that we were somehow divided which wasn’t really true. I think in her heart she was just telling us “family first”. Ali said Tommy was worried the family would now fall apart. I can assure you, I will not let this happen! Today the boys, if Jag wrapped up his homework, along with Lori and I, are heading down to see Tom and Ali. Last night Jag said how we need to celebrate grandma’s life and how he remembers all the great times growing up with her. He brought up many memories I had forgotten and we briefly laughed and relived a few of those magical moments.
It’s rough when either of your parents pass, but somehow different when it’s your Mom. There’s that mother child bond that is not explainable. I believe our Mom is heaven and even looking over my shoulder now as I write. Someday down the road, we’ll all be together again. I love you Mom and miss you already. I hope you’re not too busy up there as I’ll be needing to talk to you daily. Words are not enough to thank you for all you did for all of us, but I know you know how we all feel. Rest in peace and may God Bless you, and tell Dad hi!
What my Mom wanted more than ever w